The grade 11 trip was something I was looking forward to immensely but I was also something I knew was going to be immensely difficult for me as I have never been athletic or particularly comfortable with jumping off things. In both ways I was right, the trip was wonderful and fun but I also had to push my boundaries in a way that I had never done before.
Day 1: Day of Action
We started our trip with a short white water rafting trip. This was something I was and still am comfortable with, having done it several times before. Of all the trip this was my favorite part. I was fascinated by the way the guides described reading the river. I had never thought about making decisions in white water rafting before and had only ever worked to follow a prescribed course, nor had I been in a raft where more than the guide had to work to steer. It thus became for me a study in both collaborative work and river craft. Though I enjoyed the controlled thrill of the rapids I also immensely enjoyed the care free float down the river near the end of the day.
In the canyon I had to face the my anxiety about jumping, or rather about not being able to jump. I do fine with thing like white water rafting and water slides where i simply have to sit back and breath to calm my anxiety, but anything where i have to make my self take that last step off the ledge is hard for me. I have trouble making my self do something that is even vaguely like endangering my life even if i know on a mental level that I will be perfectly safe. In that way completing the canyon was a challenge for me that I had to meet head on. I'm glad to say I did though I know risk-taking will always be an area for growth for me at least in the physical sense.
Day 2: A Day in the Mountains
Of all the things the hike up to the cave where we would do ToK was actually the hardest for me. I had an anxiety attack on the way up the the cave after having bad moment where car sickness and physical exertion meant that for a moment I couldn't breath. Anxiety attacks are an awful side effect of having bi-polar disorder. As much as I try to self regulate them the threat of them will always be there bellow the surface of my mind. It's an unfortunate reality for me. I'm glad that I got through that one, but it reminded me that controlling my anxiety and bi polar disorder through out the CAS and DP programs will be one of the challenges that I will have to meet head on, which is a challenge I am committed to face head on.
In the cave we began talking about ToK and about how things had transpired there long ago. It was fascinating. During the meditation we participated in a meditation, it was easy fro me to feel connected to the earth and to the humans that lived there.
Day 3: Oral History
I think of all the days this day was my favorite, though that may have been less because of what we did and more because I spent the least percent of this day car sick.
We conducted an oral history interview, which was not something I had done before, but wich was something I quite enjoyed, The man we interviewed, Tissa Mama, was a wood seller whom worked about a mile from the camp.
